from Cousin Harold’s Adventures In The Real World… ‘Cousin Harold, Security Guard’

Dean J. Baker - Poetry, and prose poems

1
“Of course I like to help people – from my desk, with pop and chips. It’s the thought that counts.”

Cousin Harold

So stated a laboring Cousin Harold as he struggled against the imprecations of one Mrs. Grumpypants who was shoveling inspiration as quickly as she could on why Cousin Harold ought to apply for a job, somewhere.
Cousin Harold had been having a bad time considering the dozens of jobs for which he ought to apply and it had tired him out daily. By the time he came to actually having to do something about it he found himself caught in the philosophical dilemma of ‘to do, or to be.’

This became boring after a few seconds so he fell asleep on the couch with the newspaper folded over him.
Which was usually how Mrs. Grumpypants found him after returning home from work.

“Harold! Wake up! If you…

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