Hello Everyone. I am Sam the Searcher. They call me Sam the Searcher because my name is Sam, and I search for things. Today, I was given a very great task. Today, I am on my very quest to search for the body of Jesus Christ. As you know, when Jesus died, He was buried. Days later, His body went missing. Therefore, I was charged to search for the body. By the way, when I search for something, I find it. Therefore, I will find the body of Jesus Christ. It is funny because I was walking through Jerusalem, and some idiot goes around saying that Jesus is alive. What an idiot. Jesus is dead. People saw Him die. Oh yes. The Roman soldiers made sure of it. Oh, later that day, that exact same idiot introduces me to this man that he calls Jesus and shows me these holes…
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Crazy Pasta Child 