The first thing you should do is anything and everything to make yourself happy. If it’s at the expense of people who aren’t about to drop dead, screw ’em, you’re dying.
Let’s prepare a care package for your ex.
Let’s send him all your cats! All of them and make sure to buy a couple extra. He is going to want them! He is already thinking of you constantly, so the cats will be a welcome addition.
Finally, he can have his testicles back, you kept them in a bag for him. He still doesn’t need them or know what they’re for, but you don’t need them where you’re going.
You know all the pics with his face cut out? Send him all his heads, a big ole bag of heads. You know you still have them, do you want your kids to find that when you’re gone.
Speaking of your…
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