An open letter to my Friend … Letting go of pain and fear and embracing the moment!

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

(this started as an e-mail to my friend after a long conversation last night.  

Dear Friend, this is to you, and to me, and to all in pain!)

I am really sorry for being hard on you sometimes and probably causing you pain with my harsh words.  But my words are only the frustration that I feel when I think that you are stuck on the hurts of the past. I wish I could just grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you.

I hope one day to come up with a magic word that will snap you out of the past and into the present. Until then I will keep trying with the weapons I have: brutal honesty peppered with humor all enveloped in love.

I wish I could just give you a hug and hold you for a long time and be held by…

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The last time

The Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son)

Monday 6th April

Today is the last chance we have to visit you in the Chapel of Rest. It is so painful to see you lying there. You have all you need to take to heaven. The dolphin and teddy can play with the angels with you, you can read your books and watch your videos.

No more chemotherapy, no more drugs, no more blood transfusions. Your pain has gone. You are now cancer free.

But I just wish you were here to spend a lot more time with us. We weren’t ready for you to go. We had so much more planned when you got better.

It hurts us so much that we will never hear your voice or your laugh, we will not be able to have cuddles or to hold your hand. You will have to do this with the angels.

We are left with so many…

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